Thursday, May 9, 2013

Something As Simple As Cutting Grass

Early today Aimee's softball practice was cancelled which meant that since it's a Thursday, we officially didn't have anywhere we had to run off to after work and school! That's rare considering this is our usual after work and school activities every week:

Monday- Chiropractor and Ali Softball
Tuesday- Aimee Softball
Wednesday- Chiropractor and Ali Softball
Thursday-Aimee Softball
Friday-Chiropractor and Girls Scouts

Don't get me wrong, I love having activities to do and LOVE watching the girls' softball games and seeing them create memories like those that I didn't get to do as a child. It's just nice to know that I can get some things done around the house because more often than not, I have to try to squeeze that stuff in on the weekends in between the errands and things we have to do during those days. I can only imagine what it will be like when Lily starts sports! So, while Aimee was doing homework and Ali was helping by doing the dishes, I went out and decided I was going to cut the grass. Simple. Except that I was going to use our new riding mower and that is usually my husbands job. I realized that the last time I used a riding mower was 13 or 14 years ago. It brought back so many nice memories about growing up in the country and spending the summers and at my Aunt and Uncles house in Payneville and he would always let me cut their HUGE yard with the riding mower while he took care of other things outside like fixing the deck and things like that. I remember getting on there and really enjoying it and knowing that it felt nice to help out in any way I could. My Uncle Mark was the only real father figure I had in my life and the bond we had is what I can imagine a daughter having towards her father. I truly love him. As I got older and had Ali and got married, sadly my time there drifted farther and farther apart until it got to where I go years without seeing them and sometimes that long without talking to them. It makes me extremely sad and ashamed that I have let that family life fall through the cracks. Most of it was because I was a na├»ve teenager and didn't fully realize the consequences of my actions. I fully believe that everything happens for a reason. I live my life by that. God doesn't let one door close without having another one ready to open. Of course I think about them from time to time and I even called them a few months ago and left a message but didn't hear back. It's great that I know that I can show up there any time and would receive beyond warm welcome, but I guess the excuse of being busy and having a family of my own now keeps me from being able to get up there anytime without planning it. So sitting there on that riding mower this evening, it hit me like a ton of bricks how much I really, really miss them. They are getting older now and I have taken them for granted. My cousins and aunts and uncles all used to be so close. There was never a holiday or birthday that went by that we didn't all get together. Those were such fun times that I cherish! Its amazing how the simplest thing, like the enjoyment of cutting grass, can make you really stop and think about how things should be. Right then and there I decided that this weekend I am going to take my girls and go see them. My hubby is more than welcome to come along of course but if he doesn't feel like it, I am still hitting the road and we are going, whatever it takes. I already know I am going to have lots of tears because I feel the need to tell them how sorry I am that I let things happen the way they did and that was needed to happen to make me fully appreciate everything they did for me growing up. After all, my Aunt Julie is the one who taught me to make spaghetti, properly hang clothes on a line and told me stories of her wild and crazy younger days for hours and hours and taught me Solitaire in the days before electronics and crazy schedules. I can't wait to get there! That place is definitely Holy Ground from my childhood.

Mark and Julie when they first started dating, still one of my all time favorite photos
Here they are several years later. Mark was always the comedian and acting like he didn't want her touching him lol.

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